Gifts for families whose dog or cat is one of the kids

Some families have a dog. Some families have a dog who gets a stocking, has a birthday on the calendar, and is listed as a sibling on the kindergarten "my family" drawing. If you're buying for the second kind, the best gifts are split three ways: something for the pet, something for the kids who love it, and something the whole family uses together.

For the pet

A DNA test

This is the gift that gets talked about at dinner for a week. You swab the inside of the dog's cheek, mail it off, and a few weeks later you find out the "lab mix" from the shelter is part Australian cattle dog, part chow and part something nobody guessed. Embark and Wisdom Panel are the two names you'll see most for dogs; each lists 400-plus breeds it screens for, and both offer versions that add genetic health screening. Wisdom Panel also makes cat tests, and Basepaws is a cat-focused option that tests dogs too.

Know what you're buying. The breed breakdown is the fun part. The health section is the useful part, and it's worth taking any flags to your vet rather than reading too much into them alone. For a mixed-breed rescue whose backstory is a mystery, it's a great present. For a purebred with papers, there's less to discover.

A pet camera that tosses treats

Furbo and Petcube both make cameras that let you see and talk to the dog from your phone and fling a treat across the room. Worth it if the dog is home alone during school and work hours and someone in the family checks in at lunch. Not worth it if somebody's home most of the day, in which case it becomes a very expensive treat dispenser. Kids love it either way, which is either a feature or a reason to set screen rules for it.

The boring stuff they'd never buy themselves

A better leash, a washable bed cover, a quality brush for the shedder, a long-lasting chew. Not exciting to wrap. Used every day. One more small one: a new ID tag with the family's current phone number engraved on it. Plenty of pets are still wearing the tag with an old number from two moves ago, and nobody notices until the day the gate is left open.

For the kids

Kids who love a pet usually want to be trusted with it. Gifts that come with responsibility tend to land better than another plush dog.

• Their own job, with their own gear. A kid-sized treat pouch, a short leash for the last block of the walk, and a chart of who feeds the cat on which day. Talk to the parents first about what the kid can actually handle.
• A training class they attend. Many local trainers run family obedience classes where kids can take part. A child who teaches the dog to sit and stay feels ten feet tall, and the dog behaves better around them.
• A good book about their animal. A breed guide, a how-to-care-for-your-cat book written for kids, or a story about a dog who looks like theirs. Ask a children's librarian for a recommendation by age.

One firm rule: no new pet as a surprise gift for someone else's family, ever. Even families who love animals need to choose that themselves.

For the whole family

A pet first aid course

The Red Cross Cat and Dog First Aid course is online and covers things like checking a pet's vital signs and what to do if they're choking or hurt. It isn't a fun present on the surface. It's the one the family will be grateful for the night the dog eats something off the counter. Pair it with a basic pet first aid kit for the car.

A family photo session that includes the dog

Book a photographer for an hour at a park, with the explicit instruction that the dog is in the photos. Most families have hundreds of pictures of the kids and hundreds of the pet, and almost none of them together where everyone is looking at the camera. If you'd rather do it yourselves, our post on taking better photos of your kids works for pets too: daylight, get down to their eye level, and a squeaky toy held right above the lens.

A portrait with the kid and the pet together

This is what we make, so take it with that in mind. Our kid and pet portraits put one child and their dog or cat into a scene together, like a pirate captain and a first mate on a stormy sea, using a photo of each. The child keeps their real face and the pet keeps its real fur and markings, including the one floppy ear. If it's the pet alone the family wants on the wall, there are pet portraits too. A preview takes about 20 seconds, free, and our guide to choosing the right photo covers what to look for in the pet's picture as well. If you're not the parent, ask them first; it's their child's photo.

What we'd pass on

• Costumes the pet will hate. Funny for the photo, miserable for the cat. If the family already dresses up the dog and the dog doesn't mind, fine.
• More plush toys. Most dogs in these houses already have a basket of them, half disemboweled.
• Human food treats as a gift. Grapes, chocolate and xylitol-sweetened things are dangerous for dogs, and families with pets have usually built their own rules about what's allowed. Leave the treat choice to them.